Friday, February 25, 2011

Finally after 18 years...

Ok here it goes..Not too many people know this but when I was 5 my mother and father got a divorce (typical), well my mother moved to Oklahoma and my father stayed in Florida. Of course she would always say how he didn't care about me and didn't want anything to do with me(typical). Growing up for me wasn't really all that great, yes I did good in school, was in cheerleading, softball and basketball, but I also had to take care of my younger brothers. My mother was into drugs and partying and when I didn't do exactly as she wanted I would get the crap knocked out of me. She went to prison twice and myself and grandmother took care of my brothers, which wasn't easy.

Well I was 24 or 25 (can't remember) my fiancée (now husband) had decided to look up my father and sure enough he was still in Florida. I had the number right there in front of me, and of course I had no idea what to do. I mean what do you say to someone who you haven't seen for 18 years? I had all these thoughts running through my head, wondering if he even would want to talk to me, what if he even don't remember me. Am I supposed to say "Hi I'm Amber your long lost daughter, nice to meet ya", I have never been so nervous my whole life.

So I called, and no answer (thank god for voicemails haha), I left him a message and within 10 minutes I had finally got to talk to my dad after 18 years. It was a very emotional conversation, and I had found out and had proof that my mother had been lieing to me after all these years. Many Christmases he had bought me and my brothers gifts and my mother had replaced the tags on them so that it looked as if she got them and he sent money and would call, but I never knew of this.

After we talked for a couple of months Mark(fiancée) and I took a very long road trip to Lakeland Florida where I met my father for the first time. It wasn't an odd first visit either, of course there were lots of hugs and tears, but it was amazing. Now we talk on a regular basis and I have 2 younger sisters and an amazing step-mom, it's like the family that I wish I could have grown up in.

Now I look at how my life has turned out and I am just so grateful that I have not ended up like her, I have 3 wonderful girls, I married my best friend, and I have an actual family. It really is a nice feeling